Dear Curtis,

--------With all the good stuff that can be found to eat up here in the mountains (sticks, rocks, deer & bear poop, etc.), we sometimes get upset stomachs.  Why do Mom and Dad freak out when we give it back on that nice soft custom-designed Indian rug in the living room?  Do they really expect us to hurl on the hard stone floor, the slippery wood parts or that cheesy nylon wall-to-wall when we're feeling rotten and need all the comfort we can get?  We're confused. Curtis, can you please explain this mean attitude on their part?

--------Duster and Jazzie in Edwards CO

Dear D & J,

--------Sticks and rocks and poop? Oh my!

--------Humans with dogs have to expect that we’re going to have an upset stomach every now and then, especially when you consider the exotic nature of some of the things we wolf down! And, they have to realize that we’re not the kind that will wake them up in the middle of the night, say something like “Mommy, my tummy hurts,” and then puke our brains out on them, their pajamas, sheets, blankets and pillows.

--------Besides, and while I can’t speak for your folks, I believe there’s no way most humans are going to be sticking out their hands and trying to catch our upchuck on the way to the bathroom!

--------So, we seek comfort in other places. The fact that you seem to prefer a nice soft custom-designed Indian rug is simply a reflection of your appreciation for some of the finer things in life. And I’m with you as far as hard stone, slippery wood and cheesy nylon is concerned. I mean, who decorated that house? A cat?

--------By the way, the reason your parents freak out has nothing to do with you. It has to do with the way their human parents raised them and I can recommend a therapist if they’d like. So, recognize this and use it to your advantage.

--------The next time you’re not feeling well and need to hurl, find a place that will freak them out more than the Indian rug and do it there. And do it there the next one or two times you need to “lose your milk bones.” After a while, they might not mind it so much if you went back to the rug! Meanwhile, gotta run and find some grass. Seems something I ate is not agreeing with me!

--------Curtis the Dog